"Confessions of an Airport Pornstar" or, "I Paid $500 For This Plane Ticket, And All I Got Was This Lousy Hand-Job"

Ah, the so-called TSA, aka, the Transportation Safety Administration. In their infinite quest to make sure us ignorant, common-folk are kept safe, we are now offered two choices when flying: Either go through the "Flash-Your-Junk" machine, or have a policy academy, "couldn't get a security guard job at a mall", rent-a-cop Gomer give you a pelvic. In light of this new policy of sexual abuse and 4th amendment violation, I vote we rename the TSA to "Transportation Sexual Abuse".

I find it amazing that our own government would rather violate our constitutional rights, treat us like criminals, and verbally and physically abuse us, rather than actually put forth the effort to identify high risks flyers. Instead of offending "our poor, misunderstood muslim friends", or run even the remote chance of giving the impression that we're profiling,  we have to submit our young children and grandma to nude photos or molestation. This isn't an exaggeration. The pictures that are taken of you through your clothes have enough detail to be able to identify the beads of sweat on your back... And about a hundred of these photos were leaked onto the Internet, in spite of the government's claims that no images were even saved.

This joke of a department was created in 2001, and has been a major joke ever since, and has continually gotten worse. No one in their right mind thinks they contribute anything to airline safety (well, I'm sure there are some individuals suffering from rectal-cranial inversion who might).

Let's see: 911, airplanes hijacked with box cutters. Response: no sharp objects on plane! (goodby to the deadly knitting needles, thumbnail sized nail files, and that plastic spork...I feel safer already...)

Next, some dimbulb tries to blow up his shoes. Response, we all now get to take our shoes off before walking through the metal detector, and no shampoo bottles larger than few ounces (because nothing crushes the religious fervor of a jihadi terrorist faster than being forced into ankle-length nudity and dirty hair. That explains the towel - they just washed it...).

Next, some fruit-loop tries to set off his mohammed underoos. Response: Thanks to the Panty-Bomber, we now get to show ourselves naked or get felt up by a rent-a-cop. (And they've already admitted that the new scanners would not have detected the explosives in "Panty-Boy".)

Oh, and then there's the explosives found in the HP Printer cartridges on the cargo planes. Response: All printer cartridges traveling in the U.S. must now go by bus.

And about how much does this mess cost us? Let's see:

• Approximately 50,000+ TSA employees
• A 2010 budget of about 7.8 billion
• Number of U.S. citizens who have been abused and have had their rights violated: Thousands (and climbing)
• Number of terrorists caught by the TSA:  0

Our rights are being stripped away once again by the government "for our own safety." Our Constitution spells out our UNALIENABLE rights. That means they are God-given rights that no man can give or take away. It's supposed to be the government's job to protect those rights...not dictate which ones they feel we're allowed to have this week...

If this kind of action is allowed, then what right will they decide to take next? Warrant-less random search of your house "for a safe community"? Confiscation of all firearms "for a safe society"? Shutting down all but "authorized" news sources "to avoid confusing the population with too much information"? (Oh, wait...I believe Obama already mentioned something to this effect.)

Something to think about, next time you're getting your complimentary hand-job at the airport, courtesy of the TSA.